#02 Running From vs. Running Towards

Recently, I had a long conversation with my best friend. We spoke about change, courage, and what truly moves people forward.

We noticed something interesting.

Sometimes we change because we are running away from something we no longer want. And sometimes we change because we are running towards something we deeply desire.

Both work. Both can be powerful. Neither is wrong. But they feel very different.

Running away

When you run from something, you move fast. You leave a toxic workplace. You end a draining relationship. You stop tolerating disrespect. You finally say “enough.”

There is strength in that.

I see this often with my clients. Running away usually looks like building boundaries, stopping certain behaviours, cutting off unhealthy dynamics, or quitting what hurts. The result is relief, lightness, and more space to breathe. You end up in a better place.

But there is nuance. When you run away, the direction is often unclear. You know what you don’t want, but you may not yet know exactly what you do want. There are multiple possible destinations. You move forward, but not always precisely.

Running towards

Running towards something feels different. There is a vision. A pull. A clear “this is where I am going.”

Not just “I don’t want this anymore,” but “I want that.”

When clients shift into this mode, something changes. They don’t just leave the old situation. They start building the new one intentionally. They define where they want to be in six months, what role they want, what environment, what kind of people around them, what kind of energy.

And suddenly, decisions become easier. Because now they are not escaping. They are navigating.

From my own experience, I have done both. Both were successful. Both brought growth. But running towards something required less time, less emotional energy, and fewer detours. Clarity saves energy.

A practical example

Let’s say you have difficulties with a colleague who behaves in a toxic way towards you.

Running away might look like avoiding them, emotionally withdrawing, or quitting the job. And sometimes that is necessary.

But running towards something would look like setting clear boundaries, having a direct conversation, speaking to your manager, and defining where you want to be in six months. Maybe you want a different position, a different team, a different company, or a specific project.

Now your actions are aligned with a destination. You are not just escaping discomfort. You are building direction.

The question that changes everything

When we want to change something in our lives, maybe the most powerful question is: Am I running away from this, or am I running towards something?

If you are running away, that is okay. Sometimes pain is the first catalyst. But don’t stop there. Once you are safe and can breathe, ask yourself: Where do I actually want to go?

Relief is good. But alignment is better. And knowing what you want is one of the most energy-saving decisions you can make.